I think I made a decision

It's been a really long last couple of weeks.  I went and saw the ENT that is filling in for Dr. Gray while she is on Maternity leave.  She had a baby boy, all is well but gosh I wish she had been back for my appointment to clean my trach out.  The fill in Dr was an older Dr who has been in on my surgeries before because, well I'm a fun case of course.  He scoped my trach, and said "wow, you take really really good care of your trach!" Yes, yes I do.  I'm kind of OCD about it.  I've seen really bad ones at work and in clinicals 😂😂.  He said, just some minor daily cleaning and it looks great!  Well, what he didn't know was that we had just done deep cleaning at work, and I was literally on the ground dusting.  I offered to do this because I knew I was going to go and get my trach cleaned out GOOD that day 😭😭😭.  Before he left he said make sure you have an appointment scheduled with Dr. Gray for when she comes back. I sure do!  Surgery 😂.  June 26th.  No good clean outs until then.  So, I may have a raspy voice now and then until then 🤦🏻‍♀️.  A lot of pink bullets of saline will be dropped right down my trach until then!  And as most of you don't know, it's not the most pleasant at first, but it sure does feel great after!!!!

About my whole trach, trach removal, big major reconstruction surgery.  I have done A LOT of thinking on my own the last couple of weeks regarding this.  And I think I have decided to probably go against having the big surgery.  Honestly it scares the ever loving crap out of me.  Why change something that is working and making me live?  Another thing is that one thing that can cause "stenosis" is REALLY bad reflux.  I was on prescription strength Omeprazole, and lately that haven't even been working, so I had to start two additional prescriptions for reflux.  That, in itself was another scare for me.  I do know for the longest time I begged her and begged her to get the trach out, but THIS type as scary as the thought of it was at first, honestly is the best thing that happened to me.  I am able to lead more of a normal life again!  

I've had a couple more medical things come up that are getting checked into now also.  So, it's all a lot.  

Hopefully the warm weather comes soon with a lot of bright sunshine ☀️ so I can be nice and warm all the time. And everyone can get outside and enjoy the wonderful weather 😁

Just sharing a picture of two of my favorite things I did this last week ❤