Goals being achieved 💥

Some people say I am a determined person.  I guess I would have to agree.  I had goals set put for myself and gosh darn it one way or another I'm going to achieve these! One goal I had was to jog/walk a 5k.  ✅ BAM.  Another one was to loose 100 lbs ✅ BAM.  

Doing the 5k I would say I walked more than jogged, but I wasn't thr last person to come in, there were some doozy hills (I mean we were in the mountains), and I still jogged more than I thought I would.  The mucus in my trach was probably what was holding me back some.  And it's even worse now that I'm home 😭.  I was seriously so cold out there.  But I can say I did it! I achieved my goal! 

Loosing 100 lbs.  Gosh this hasn't been easy at all.  People probably think oh, she had the surgery,  that's why.  Let me tell you, that is a TOOL, just like any other dieting technique.  I've had stalls, I've gained, I've cried, I've dealt with being back on steroids, not being able to exercise, sickness (through most of it) needing fluids, vomiting, having to set an alarm on my phone just to remember to eat to just plain being exhausted.  It was 8 months yesterday since surgery.  I weighed in at 212 lbs in the afternoon.  My highest weight when I was on all my steroids was 314 lbs.  (That I know of).  I want to be a healthy person.  I want to live as long as possible.  I want to be able to be active with my kids, and dang it I want this tube out of my neck.  

Honestly, until someone HAS a trach they have NO IDEA what it is like to live with one.  You truly never know one second to the next if your going to have to run to the bathroom to cough some stuff up.  How people will look at you, if they will notice it.  If you will have your voice and if it will be "normal".  If your mucus will be clear, colored or have blood in it.  If it's colored is there an infection?  If you start to feel sick, do you go to the Dr or wait?  If you get a clog, depending on your tube you could have literally seconds to get it out or not breathe.  Is whoever around you okay with someone who has a tube? (I've experienced that not everyone is, and boy is that something hard to deal with, loosing friends, people you love).  Will you always have put of place painful ribs from a strong cough?  Will you end up having your tube forever? 

That is honestly the stuff that can come up daily in my head.  So yes, I'm a positive person with goals to be achieved and will be starting on the next ones!  But, always remember to be kind.