Learning to deal!

So, if you looked at my Facebook page yesterday, it was a terrible day for me.  I was down.  Wednesday I went to see my ENT because i had completely lost my voice, and my breathing was getting faster, my chest hurt and I honestly felt like shit again.  She used a scope and looked at the bottom of my trach and saw big time inflammation and terribly red right bronchial area.  So, it hadn't gotten completely to my lungs yet, but she said was the start of pneumonia.  She tried using a scope down my nose into my throat but I gagged too much.  She wanted to see if the stenosis has gotten worse and that is the reason for no voice.  So, I was started back on stronger antibiotics and steroids again.  Yesterday, I still felt horrible.  Slept most of the day and coughed and coughed.  I was pale as could be and completely run down.  Not only philysically did it take a toll on me, but also emotionally.  I felt like I couldn't be a good mom because I can't talk and ask the boys how their school say was.  I can't read to Jack.  Our family can't be at home because of the woodstove.  But, when before I went to sleep last night I told myself that tomorrow is a new day, and I need to learn to DEAL.  DEAL with this illness.  DEAL with no voice and come put stronger. I truly believe God doesn't give us what we can't handle and that everything happens for a reason.  So, even though I didn't sleep much, I got up, did my treatments and actually put on make up.  Yup, I get lonely.  No, I'm not contageous.  Since I can't talk I enjoy when people text me or message me.  It makes me feel happy.  💚💚💚🐸🐸🐸