My New Life

I have been thinking a lot about what to write on here.  And, I've been trying to decide if I should even write anything at all or not.  But, oh well here it goes lol.  First, I'm going to give you an idea of what my typical day is like.  I'm not sure if people really truly know what I do on a daily basis, or if they think i'm just sitting around all day doing nothing.  So, here it goes.  At 6am my alarm goes off to do my morning nebs and tracheostomy cares.  I have 3 nebs I do in the morning.  The nebs take me about 20 minutes or so.  After my nebs I do my shaky vest, and this is 20 minutes.  Then I do my tracheostomy cares.  This I can get done pretty fast in about 15 minutes.  Then it is time for breakfast and my morning pills.  On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I go to Pulmonary Rehab from 1030 to 1130.  On Tuesdays and Thursdays I go to the Wellness Center at the hospital to exercise.  My alarm goes o...

So, if you looked at my Facebook page yesterday, it was a terrible day for me.  I was down.  Wednesday I went to see my ENT because i had completely lost my voice, and my breathing was getting faster, my chest hurt and I honestly felt like shit again.  She used a scope and looked at the bottom of my trach and saw big time inflammation and terribly red right bronchial area.  So, it hadn't gotten completely to my lungs yet, but she said was the start of pneumonia.  She tried using a scope down my nose into my throat but I gagged too much.  She wanted to see if the stenosis has gotten worse and that is the reason for no voice.  So, I was started back on stronger antibiotics and steroids again.  Yesterday, I still felt horrible.  Slept most of the day and coughed and coughed.  I was pale as could be and completely run down.  Not only philysically did it take a toll on me, but also emotionally.  I felt like I couldn't be a good mom ...